英语故事教学不仅能有效地学习英语知识,亦能有效地培养学生的思维能力。小编精心收集了搞笑幽默英语故事，供大家欣赏学习!
搞笑幽默英语故事篇1
A drunk
醉汉
A police officer pulls over a guy who has been weaving in and out of the lanes.
有一位******把一个在车道上穿进穿出，迂回蛇行的男子拦到路边。
He goes up to the guy's window and says "Sir,I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."
他走到这名男子的车窗旁边说：“先生，我要你对着这个酒精测试管吹一口气。”
The man says,"Sorry officer I can't do that.I am an asthmatic.If I do that I'll have a really badasthma attack."
这名男子说：“对不起呀，******，我不能吹呀。我是个气喘病患者呀。如果我吹的话，我就会真的患很严重的气喘病。”
"Ok,fine.I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample."
“ 好， 好。我要你到警察局进行血液检验。”
"I can't do that either.I am a hemophiliac.If I do that,I'll bleed to death."
“我也能抽血检验呀。我是个血友病患呀。如果我抽血检验，我就会流血过多而死呀。”
"Well ,then we need a urine sample."
“嗯，那我们就要你进行尿液检验吧。”
"I am sorry officer I can't do that either.I am also a diabetic.If I do that I'll get really low bloodsugar."
“对不起呀 ，******，我也不能验尿呀。我也是一个糖尿病患者呀。如果我验尿的话，我的血糖就真的会变得很低。”
"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."
“好吧，那我要你出来到这边，走这条白线。”
"I can't do that,officer."
“******，我办不到呀。”
"Why not? "
“为什么办不到?”
"Because I am too drunk to do that."
“因为我喝得太醉了，所以不能那么做呀。”
搞笑幽默英语故事篇2
Idiot Teacher
白痴老师
If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .
喜爱挖苦人的老师说：“如果在这间教室里面有白痴，就请站起来好吗?”。
After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,
沉默了很久之后，有一名新生就站起来了。
"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.
老师就以讥笑的口气问他：“喂， 先生，你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?”
"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all byyourself."
这名学生说：“ 唉呀，实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢，而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。”
搞笑幽默英语故事篇3
Silly Doctor
蠢医生
A man went to see his doctor
有一名男子去看他的医生，
because he was suffering from a miserable cold.
因为他正遭到令人难受的感冒之苦。
His doctor prescribed some pills,
他的医生开了一些药丸 ，
but they didn't help.
但是这些药丸都没什么帮助。
On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot,
他笫二次去的时候，医生给他打针，
but that didn't do any good.
但是那也没什么效。
On his third visit the doctor told the man,
他第三次去的时候 ，医生告诉这名男子：
"Go home and take a hot bath.As soon as you finish bathing throw open all the windows and stand in the draft."
“回家洗个热水澡吧。你一洗完澡就把所有韵窗户都打开，然后站在通风处。”
"But doc,"protested the patient,
这名病人******说：“但是医生，
"if I do that,I'll get pneumonia."
如果我那么做的话，我就会得到肺炎呀。”
"I know,"said the doctor,"don't worry,I can cure pneumonia."
医生说：“我知道啦，别担心啦，我会治疗肺炎啦。”
